This time of year always makes me nostalgic. I remember as a young boy writing my annual letter to my idol and forgoing trick-or-treating with the other kids to hang out and wait for him to show on Halloween night. All the other kids laughed at me, even this round-headed boy who was the very definition of uncool. Anyway, I was disappointed year after year, stood up repeatedy, cold and shivering in a pumpkin patch.

Oh, wait a minute…

True, most zombies do crave brains. But there’s a group of hipster zombies that avoid brains like the last plague. For these health-concious members of the walking dead, it’s grains they’re after. They’ll kill it for millet, go vulgar for bulgur, and get gnarly for barley.

So next time one starts drooling over your leg, offer them a legume instead.

Funerals can be such a downer. But with a Lucky Stiff event, it’ll go from solemn to bombin’ in no time! DJ Spooky spins the grooves including “Dead Man’s Party”, “Don’t Fear the Reaper”, & “Blurred Lines”. Through October 31st, buy one burial and get the second FREE! For your next loss of loved one, nobody beats Lucky Stiff Mortuary…They put the “FUN” in funeral!

Remember the movie The Omen and the scene where the Dad cuts his kid’s hair to find the 666 on his head? Talk about pure evil. My parents did the same thing to me but were relieved when they found the number 333. I’m only half evil.

Enough with the vampires already. At the risk of alienating my wife, who watches all 26 shows dealing with vampires, it’s time for the bloodsucker craze to crawl back into its collective casket. I may need to stage an intervention for her just to recapture my TV and watch something that doesn’t involve overly pretty people biting each other’s necks. It’s gotten so bad at my house that she’s taken to DVR’ing kid’s programs in the hopes of finding a rerun with this guy.

Hard to imagine one of the world’s most infamous villains, Dr. Hannibal Lecter, was once a cute, cuddly, carnivorous baby. They should have never started feeding him those pureed fava beans.

What is it about the raven that makes it so scary? Personally, I can’t tell the difference between a raven and a crow. Although now that I think about it, sometimes I’ll come out of the grocery store and a crow will be sitting on top of my car, just, you know, eyeballin’ me. And I’ll just stand there, paralyzed, telling him, “Shoo crow…don’t bother me.” Alright, that is pretty scary.

Who doesn’t need a hug every once in a while? Even if you are the walking dead…doesn’t mean you sometimes don’t get a little down on yourself. So next time you run into a zombie and go jumping to the conclusion that he wants to eat your brain, give him a shoulder to lean on. Or snack on.

Halloween is coming…and to get everybody spooked up and ready, we present The 12 Days of Halloween. Each day through Halloween (there’s 12 to go, get it?) we’ll post a new Halloween chocolate coin design. We’ll try our best to test the boundaries of creativity (and good taste in some cases!).

So without further ado, we give you the 1st day of Halloween in honor of the scariest thing we can imagine! The classy lassy…The skin’ bearin’, no clothes wearin’…tongue waggin’, wreckin’ ball ridin’…ex-Hannah Montana, now a bit bananas…..Miley Cyrus!