How to Catch a Leprechaun

A Leprechaun & his Chocolate Gold Coins

With St. Patrick’s Day only days away, the quest to capture the elusive leprechaun is in full swing. Leprechauns, as legend has it, are Irish cobblers of the elf variety. Deciding to try to ensnare one is not a endeavor one should take lightly. Leprechauns are a deceitful, wily lot, and delight in practical jokes and general debauchery. Tangle with them at your own risk.

Now…should you decide to proceed…you must be creative and tricky. You must get inside of the mind of the leprechaun in your attempts to outsmart him. Leprechauns will smell fear and weakness in you and set about to humiliate you. They won’t stop until they rob you of your riches as well as your dignity.

Ok, so you’re ready to begin. Start by designing your leprechaun trap. This can be anything from a well-placed net to a box propped up with a stick. The key is the bait. Leprechauns love clovers, gold chocolate coins, and of course, a magically delicious bowl of Lucky Charms. (Who doesn’t really?)

If you are lucky enough to trap a leprechaun, don’t for a minute rest on your laurels thinking his jig is up. (see what I did there? Jig…Irish…) Never, and I mean never, take your eyes off the crafty leprechaun, even for a second. Stare directly at him as he bargains with you for his freedom. As long as you are looking him square in the eyes, the leprechaun must honor any deals he makes. Look away for even a moment and he’ll rescind any offers and be gone in the blink of your eye. Leprechauns will usually offer up three wishes or their pot o’ gold in exchange for their freedom. Now is not the time to get greedy. Take the pot o’ gold. Accepting the three wishes will usually backfire as the deceptive leprechaun will find a way to make your wishes backfire on you. And hey, a pot o’ gold is nothing to shake a stick at.

But don’t despair if you’re unable to catch a leprechaun. Not many people can accomplish this feat and when they do, they often regret ever attempting the task. Me? I’ll spend my St. Paddy’s day drinking green beer, wolfing down corned beef & cabbage and snacking on some gold chocolate coins. I learned years ago, leprechauns are just no damn good.